I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
