It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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