I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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