did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
