Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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