No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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