you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
