I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
