He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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