hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
