New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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