omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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