hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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