Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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