i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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