Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
