gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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