If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
