y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
