My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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