I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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