Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
