i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
