Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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