It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
