so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
