Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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