Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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