I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
