i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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