i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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