I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
