my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
