Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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