Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
