i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
