Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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