No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
