So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
