Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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