i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
