You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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