so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
