I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
