i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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