office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
