Only a mothe r could love this liver
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
