I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
