Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
