When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
