there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
