You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
