Nicole vs. Life
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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