Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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