Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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