R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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