in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
