No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize