What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
