I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
