his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
