His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
