but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
