I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've blown a few things in my day
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
